Day 2: Dearest Public Diary,

What is this inferiority complex? (sigh...) I don't understand why I have to be competitive all the time! It's sane to be hopeful and just wish for a good future, right? But how come I can't do that? Okay, I'm not implying that I'm crazy or anything, but I just hate myself for always looking at people around me as lions while I see myself as a helpless kitten. I feel like a loser. As if I can't do anything good, or right.

I wonder, have you ever felt like locking yourself up in your room, ponder a little on how your life is going, and then cry? Or maybe you've chained your emotions too long that you suddenly broke-down in front of a close friend and then vented out all your feelings to him/her? Yeah, it happened to me. Not today though. But I've done that. Well, the first scenario happens more often than the second one, and it just so happens that in the second scenario, I was the friend who had been vented out on. I almost cried because I was able to relate to her. We felt that life was being too "hardsh" (hard+harsh) on us. Oh no, I'm not the purple-lipstick and eyeliner wearing kind of person who covers most of her face with her hair. In other words, I'm neither a goth nor an "emo." Although, sometimes, I do complain about my life. People get annoyed and so do I (with myself, in fact). But isn't that just part of our human nature? To complain? Though it's just not right when you complain to the extent that every 5 seconds seems like a snooze button going off to the people around you. I admit, I do that sometimes. However, at the very least, I'm trying to disintegrate this vice of mine. And yes, I do consider ceaseless complaining a vice.

Moving on, today seems like any other usual normal day. Not boring. Just normal. Happy normal. You see, the more time I spend AWAY from school, the happier I become. To my fellow classmates who don't actually know the real person behind this book-bound teenager that you see me as, yes, I find school depressing. Hey, striving for the gold doesn't necessarily mean that I love studying my eyeballs out. It's agonizing! But I believe that school is our military camp. If you don't feel the need to alarm yourself with the consequences of not doing well, then why bother going there?

DISCIPLINE is the key that takes you where you want to be.

Reading is just secondary. (I think...well, it's just an opinion)

Anyways, right now, I have this urge of talking about good-looking people. Not to be offensive or anything, but how come they're usually the mean ones? Not always, just usually. I know, I know. I'm being judgmental. I apologize for stating that. It's just I have experienced this paradox in more ways than one. Okay, saying this might've jolted your brains into thinking I'm an envious ugly Betty. Well yes, I am ugly but not jealous. Okay, maybe a little, but that would never drive me to writing this. If it did, then I should've generalized that all pretty people are evil. I know some attractive people who happen to be kind. Oh well,...never mind. This is all for the day. Just wanted to vent this thought out. :) 'Til next time. I'm sorry to all those offended.